Charlatans everywhere.

I am on the brink of killing myself, of retiring from the reincarnation world, of... of something. I hardly can stand it anymore. Even when people often tell me I am a very patient person, I often feel I am losing it all, my patience, I mean, and also my sanity. It is already quite hard to deal with newbies, but when it is the people with some experience, or those who supposedly should know something, who get in my nerves, because they clearly show they have no idea of what they are talking about... I just can do one thing: laugh or die. It is sad, as not long ago my opinion of them was much better. But this happens to me quite frequently too. I learn so much and so quick that I soon surpass them, I need new horizons to reach, and while I evolve and advance, you see how they stand behind, still thinking, still confused, and clinging to the beliefs they have constructed for themselves, and even more curiously, plainly ignoring the facts that contradict those beliefs.

One of the first things I learnt when I started out in this path, is that the risk of believing you know it all is there. It is not a coincidence that so many spiritual gurus proliferate and get rich thanks to the ignorance and innocence of the followers. Most people don’t trust themselves and they are always seeking answers outside. And then you have all those who do trust, but think knowledge comes from a 15 week course with one of those gurus who don’t even have experience of their own but think they can give lessons about it. These people who think they become experts just because they followed a guru for some time or worked closely with him, are so blinded that it is hard to reason with them. And if the guru calls himself “scientist” instead, the effect is even stronger, as for most rational people, Science is the new religion and all scientists are their new gods. But, when you have real knowledge, you only need a few minutes to talk with some of them, to realize they have nothing to teach.  

  This is the scenario I have to witness every day of my life:

• People with very little experience building beliefs with no basis that end up becoming another religion.
• People confused by their own experiences, who don’t know how to interpret them, but are always quick to jump to conclusions and spread myths like “time is simultaneous”, one that really annoys me, because there are FACTS that contradict this hypothesis.
• People that are easily dazzled by what the so-called “experts” say, experts that the only thing they have done is reading other people’s works and write boring papers to be read by other “experts”. They aren’t in touch with real experiencers (of if they have the chance, they easily miss it by telling them it is likely their memories are rubbish), but they love to give lectures and talk with complicated words, probably to give the impression they know something.
• People who started with good intentions but ended up yielding to the admiration of the rest of people who look for answers outside of themselves and are famous for writing more and more books that all say the same.
• People who are the only ones who can talk about reincarnation with some authority, but stay behind (willingly) and are just ignored, even despised, bu those who love to judge from the outside.

I am different because I am an experiencer AND I am also a scientist, with a wide knowledge of parapsychology. No, I am not talking of watching one or two TV shows about ghosts hunters. I talk of being in touch and learning from journalists who have been researching subjects related to parapsychology all their lives, some of them quite skeptical, others with direct experience with instrumental transcommunication, and also serious sensitive people who really know what extrasensorial perception is.

The saddest part of all this is this is how internet works today. Anyone could say I am just another of these charlatans, but only I know that is not the truth. I have lost count of all the books, magazines, articles and personal testimonies I have read along my life, not only about paranormal subjects, but also about scientific ones, thanks to my profession. One might think that is not important, but it is. I often say I know nothing, only to realize minutes later that, despite the fact I know nothing, I know quite more than the so-called researchers that give courses about reincarnation and brag about their theory to explain reincarnation, as if they are doing something the rest of us haven’t done already. 

So, it is fun, in a way, to be witness of how the blind lead the blind, day after day. How misconceptions spread like viruses even among those communities that supposedly are “serious and scientific”, where retrocognition is mistaken for past life memories, and there are people saying “U-huh” to other people who clearly don’t have enough experience and mental control to tell the difference. It is fun to see people talking about OBE’s when they haven’t ever attempted to astral travel consciously. It is fun seeing people wondering about how you can tell someone is lying about their past life memories when they don’t even know how they feel. It is fun... though it still kills me inside.

But I guess there is nothing I can do about it. If I talk, I only get exaggerated reactions, sometimes because people don’t like their beliefs to be challenged, other times because they think you are like them, someone who has just “an opinion” or talks from one casual reading on the internet. And so they fight and never listen. They don’t value your work because undoubtedly they think they are much better than you, because you don’t offer courses for 300 bucks or because no one interviews you in prime time. Or they even think they can criticize what you have written, without even reading it. That is the funniest thing of them all. I am starting to feel more and more like Jaqen H’ghar: it is better to be NO ONE and keep my sanity than to engage in arguments I know I can't win. 

"The faces are for no one. You are still someone. And for someone, the faces are as good as poison".

No wonder secret societies have existed through all human history. It is hard to keep quiet, be humble and just let everyone belief what they want, even when you know they are wrong. There are certain things that best remain unspoken and occult for non-acolytes. Who wants to waste so much time trying to explain? Who wants to be witness of so much stupidity and nonsensical claims? Who wants to see how the masses are absorbed by the apparent wisdom of ignorant but clever masters? Has anything changed? Is something ever going to change? I doubt it.

So, once more, as I once wrote in this blog: you just can sit down and watch the madness reign. That is my condemnation. 

Beliefs and facts (again).

Curiously, I was speaking about this in my Spanish blog just a few days ago. Not anything directly related to beliefs and facts, but I was saying the life of a hardcore reincarnationist like me is tough... quite tough. One of the reasons is you have to spend 99% of your time fighting against people with ridiculous beliefs. People who don’t remember past lives, have only fragments of a few past lives, haven’t researched reincarnation in deep, but want to convince everyone that you will suffer endless torture in dark places, surrounded by creatures that will feed of your energy during death and beyond, if you do something evil like... let’s say, committing suicide. This, in case someone doesn’t know, is comparable to being a murderer. So, yes, once more, imagining someone like Hitler having a wonderful life this time around, faraway from any kind of suffering, without being whipped or chained in a dark hole, or eaten by astral monsters, is just impossible for their little minds. Go figure.

The worst of it all is that they will ignore, misinterpret (with conscience), adapt, twist and even change what they read just to keep believing what they want to believe about the matter. Yes, this could be the following chapter to my two latest entries (one and two) where I talked about suicide. As everyone was expecting, the original poster insisted on his question, as he hadn’t received a proper answer before the thread was deleted. This second thread was full of nonsense, but for some strange reason this one hasn’t been deleted (so far). I replied again, not because I wasn’t bored of it all, but because I think people has the right to know... and also, because other people were trying to derail the thread, leaving the question unanswered again, or even worse, answering with personal beliefs and not facts. I just can’t take it.

Some reincarnation books were mentioned. I read those books decades ago, so I usually talk from memory. But then I searched in those books, and also did a quick research on the internet. I just couldn’t believe my eyes: everything is clear there. People who tried to commit suicide and lived an NDE say more or less the same thing than people who did commit suicide in a past life, were regressed and taken to the period between lives by Dr. Michael Newton: there’s not any kind of punishment on the other side. Suicide is not the best of choices, but love and compassion are there for you anyway. You are not forced to reincarnate quickly if you don’t want. Rather, you go to a place where you can be alone and reflect about what you did, and then, when you feel ready, you return to physical life. This is not a dark, damp, prison-like place somewhere in the spiritual world. It can be a bright, green, nice place, not different than any other place in “Heaven”, though quite dull and silent. There are no "critters” anywhere, torturing your soul or feeding on your bad energies, as someone else said. Almost everyone who knows a bit of this type of creatures (and I know a few), knows they are in the astral realm... and some of them even know how to handle them. Saying they follow you to your next life to keep feeding on the bad energies of evil people or suicide victims is one of the greatest nonsensical claims I have ever heard in all my years researching reincarnation (and believe me, I’ve heard many of them). 

The problem usually comes when someone who has experiences in “the spiritual realms” mixes those with their religious beliefs. I’ve seen it so many times, I’m quite tired of it. Not in vain most religions have been founded after an “enlightened guy” who could see astral entities and what have you started to claim he knew exactly what they were and what they were doing. If there are “spiritual guides” giving messages, it gets even worse, as everyone believes that they must be right if they are disincarnate. It’s almost as if you’re talking straight to God. And as you were “chosen” to be the recipient of those messages, you must be “divine” too. And this happens over and over and over again in the history of humanity... Everyone chooses what they want to believe, listens to the one they choose to believe, takes whatever facts they like and ignore the other two hundred different accounts, quotes the Bible because everyone knows everything there is true and well-thought, and everyone happy!   

Of course, I have my own beliefs. But mine are always changing and they are always constructed by everyone’s experiences, not just mine. I try not to interpret things. Facts are facts. People interpret all the time, so when you read something you always have to separate beliefs from facts. And if you achieve this, you find the Truth is really so simple, unique and singular. Unfortunately, many people still think they can manipulate the Truth and treat other human beings as if they are kids growing up. They still think they can control them through fear, lies and partial truths. They think that they can deceive a child that is looking for answers. They think they will make this child do what they want him to do, when most likely this child will know they are lying and despise their advice. They will lose his trust, he will keep looking for convincing answers elsewhere, and make his own choices anyway. Wrong or right, it doesn’t matter, we are here for that, to live and learn (if we want). It is so ironic: this is one of the most accepted views within the reincarnation world (that we are here to learn), but it seems some people haven’t got it yet. I wonder how many of them think they are old and wise, without realizing they are the kids instead, still clinging to stupid little childhood tales they just can’t forget. 

By the way, all this reminded me of just another of my struggles regarding the astral, "demonic entities" and sleep paralysis. Incredibly, many people still believe sleep paralysis is caused by beings like the one shown in the picture. The other day I read a quote from one of my favorite authors: "Graveyards are the maximum expression of our ignorance". In this case, we could say something similar: "Astral monsters are the maximum expression of our blindness". Most of the times those monsters are created by our thoughts and negative emotions, yes. Believing we can be controlled by them to the point of committing suicide or killing someone because they were whispering in our ears is blaming someone else for our misdeeds. The day we understand WE ALL ARE RESPONSIBLE OF OUR DECISIONS, maybe we will get rid of all those "monsters". The problem is in our minds, nowhere else. Now try to explain this out of here. I won't be doing it again, as then I do feel like killing myself... and never come back.   

Related entry:

Beliefs and facts.

UPDATE 7-DEC-15

Surprise, surprise. The second thread about suicide was also deleted. I don't know what happened after my post saying nothing happens when you commit suicide. I also put some links to interesting NDE accounts where people who attempted suicide describe how they reached a "heavenly place" and were halted by spiritual beings saying it wasn't their time and they must come back to go on with their lives. This is no different from any other NDE, but for some reason it scares the forum admins. I am so happy to have my own place to talk freely (a few of them really). As it may interest readers, this is just one of those links. There are hundreds of similar accounts. I also clarified what Michael Newton says in his books: he talks of "isolation places" for people who killed themselves. They are not dark places where you are chained and whipped for all eternity, like I said above. They are just normal places but you will be alone for a while, reflecting about what you did, until you understand you lost some good opportunities to grow (if this applies, of course).

And, just as I was saying about treating people as kids, now I have a private message from the OP saying he would like to talk to me. I bet he could perfectly discern who was being honest here and who was trying to deceive him with silly lies. He even tried to start a new thread which of course was also quickly deleted. What a waste of time. 

Empathy

I have been told recently by a reincarnation researcher (or that’s how he calls himself) that most past life memories coming in adulthood are, literally, rubbish. I had a pretty long conversation with him, as I had asked for help to get children’s cases for a project I’m working on. He first told me he’d gladly do, then he found out we disagree in certain points, and he decided I wasn’t worthy of his help. My three years of recalling past lives were nothing compared with his thirty years of research, a research that apparently led him to the conclusion that most adult memories are rubbish. And, of course, as he couldn’t assess mine because I wasn’t up to give him the details, along with all the verifications I claim to have, I guess he thought I was also one of those persons with shitty recollections, probably a crazy person that has nothing better to do than saying in a private message in Facebook that I’ve killed, been killed, executed, and also committed suicide in a few of my past lives. He also thinks that memories obtained by self-hypnosis are as unreliable as those obtained by hypnosis, just because both techniques include the work “hypnosis”. This is a curious claim, as I had to explain to him what self-regression or self-hypnosis is. On the contrary, he takes memories obtained through meditation as valid, as he considers those as spontaneous memories.

And this is one of the most serious researchers I’ve ever found, one of the few who is a paying a little attention to adult memories...

God save us all.

At least, he assured to me, he has an ability to empathize. He has a daughter who started to remember past lives at three years old, and he can understand people who remember because he’s talked to dozens of people (wow, I’m impressed) and interacted with a lot of them. But he has no memories of his own and he doesn’t know what self-hypnosis is.

Please God save us all.

I’m not sure if my feelings were hurt when he threw all my memories and experiences (and the memories and experiences of hundreds of people, some of them very dear to me) to the garbage just because he felt like it, or if I’m more disappointed than hurt. But I know who I am, and I am a better researcher than he. I don’t have preconceived ideas about certain techniques, and I don’t throw anything to the garbage without analyzing and studying it properly. I also try to experiment myself, as I’ve done with astral projection too, so that I can see with my own eyes if certain people’s claims can be true. As a real scientist, I have to take into account all data, I can’t ignore what I don’t like.

I was deeply disappointed as it seems he’s just reciting by heart what he has learnt in who-knows-what studies, instead of listening to people. I did feel scrutinized and dissected as a dead lab rat, being unfairly judged just because I think all people can remember if they try. I felt he was looking at me from his tall tribune, I almost could see his condescending smile as he was trying to educate me and lecture me about statistics and facts I’m so tired of hearing. This is another curious thing, as I have access to information that no researcher will ever find, especially if they keep being like that. Information I’m so glad is secret, as if I were the keeper of sacred knowledge too important to be contaminated by unworthy eyes (something I also did in the past). My desire to talk I had not long ago is slowly becoming into a desire to remain safe and silent, enjoying the insights and company of those who really know, those who really understand how it feels to kill, be killed, be executed or commit suicide in past lives.

I didn’t need empathy when I started to remember, I needed people who really knew what I was going through, because they had also experienced it. No cold researcher in the world can do that without memories of their own. But I, as a reincarnationist and a researcher, I can and must go further. I’ve already come a long way, but I’m sure better times are coming for reincarnation. We, the ones who remember, not that kind of researchers, are the ones opening the way. We are the vanguard. We have the wits, the strength, the wisdom, the experience, and science is on our side. We will win. One day our voice will be heard. And that day we will win.

Experience.

Because... how can you explain someone you barely know you were judged and hanged, and then you had a brief memory of the life between lives where no one scolded you for what you did and never threatened you with a quick return to Earth to atone for your sins or pay your karmic debts? Well, just telling it, the way I did.

The conversation I was referring to in my previous entry ended up quite abruptly when this guy claimed he could not care less about others’ “experiences”. I just couldn’t believe my eyes, as I truly feel we only can base our knowledge —in the present day and considering where we are now— on experience. That’s all we need, that’s where the answers lie: we need data, to find out what we can believe and not, which theories are closer to the truth.

For me, experience is all that matters. I was bold enough to tell him I had been judged and executed, but after his attitude, who is going to bother and tell him more about it, my reasons for not believing in karma? This morning I was reading Song of Ice and Fire (fourth volume), and, as always, the word “hanged” sent me shivers all through my body. That made me reflect about how important it is to live it. Everything. No matter how hard or painful it is, that is the only way to understand. We just need it, I guess it’s human nature. And the more I think, the surer I am that is the only “secret” of reincarnation: to experience things. Because the words of other people are not enough to make us see why we must or must not behave in one way or the other. Punishments or rewards are not effective to make us better persons, at most it can make us fearful for a while and we will think twice before being evil, but it won’t teach us why we can’t inflict pain in others as long as we ourselves don’t feel that same pain.

There are other things that send shivers through my body: lynch mobs and people shouting at presumed criminals, claiming for justice (vengeance), calling someone “murderer”, when they haven’t even been condemned yet. This already used to happen to me when I had no memories. Of course, when I remembered, I understood why I used to feel like that. You might be a criminal, but no one deserves a painful death... or just... death. This is a question I’ve asked myself all my life: do we have the right to decide when someone must die? Recently I saw the faces of this group of Hindu men who were going to be hanged for rapists... and I only felt sadness and compassion for them. I don’t think they deserve that. And I’m saying this knowing perfectly what it is to be raped. Even if they had killed the girl (I don’t remember if they did), I don’t think they would deserve death. They don’t even deserve any kind of suffering. I don’t know what they need, but I’m sure an eye for an eye is not getting us anywhere. But it seems that notion is still ruling the world... and I don’t think that is going to change soon.

Not in vain, this quote by Gandalf was one of the first to catch my attention when I read The Lord of the Rings for the first time.

The thing is that people don’t seem to realize this kind of things. They think they’re right, and they will search for answers outside of them which will reaffirm what they believe. So, they say they believe in justice, and they want to believe the Universe has to be governed by a Law called Karma which will ensure that justice, forgetting the only Law that rules the Universe, if any, is Unconditional Love. And that implies Forgiveness. And if there are people like me who have remembered there is no punishment in the other side, just Forgiveness and Understanding, they will refuse to listen and will look other way, clinging to their desire of justice (vengeance) and the way they think is “right”.

H.A.N.G.E.D.

The chapter I was reading this morning finished with a woman who was going to be hanged. That sent me to a moment of strong past life mood for a few minutes, as each time I read the word “hanged” (quite frequent in Martin’s saga) reminds me of the two times I died that way. I wouldn’t know which is clearer. The circumstances, the feelings, the images... are quite different. I feel I wanted to die in the first occasion, I didn’t care too much the end was near. I think the second one was harder, as I didn’t expect things would turn that wrong... I’m not sure but I feel I had hopes until the very last minute a miracle would spare my life. I have no memories of the hanging itself, save some strange physical sensations in the second hanging, but darkness prevails in both cases. Emotions surrounding the execution linger though... contempt, sadness, rage, shame, fear, a bit of arrogance and disbelief in the second. A deep, deep sadness. Something is common in both: I was completely aware the result had been the consequence of my decisions. I could put the blame on anything I wanted, but the plain truth is it was all my doing. Some like to say this is karma. I don’t care what they call it, but I’m certain it’s not a law. And death is not the end, that is true, but when a life is over, it is over. Emotions linger, that is true, but if my end had been different, I wouldn’t have reached the other side carrying a note saying I have a karmic debt to pay. Because the only thing we encounter on the other side is Unconditional Forgiveness. And like one of Michael Newton’s patients said when he was asked whether he was going to be punished for committing suicide: “Punishment? Of course not, that is human”.

According to this, what is the point of choosing a life in a slum in India? Experiencing a cruel and slow death, as some like to suggest? This is nonsense for some people, in my opinion because they can’t get beyond their human eyes and the eternal suffering we all have to go through on Earth. What did I gain being hanged... twice? It’s not the execution itself, it’s all that surrounded those events. Dying is nothing unnatural, not even a cruel death. We all die. We all suffer through our lives, more or less. It’s the circumstances, the events leading to that death, the feelings before and after... that’s what matters, that’s what makes us understand poverty has to be eradicated from Earth, only if we live it we can truly understand. And becoming more compassionate, more sensitive to the needs of these people, is reason enough to incarnate in one of these places, so that in our next life we will want to work for a better world where people don’t have to live in these conditions. I think this makes a lot more sense than karma.

Of course, you may not believe my experiences, but please, don’t believe in unproven theories either. Just look inside you and see for yourself.